Find out how facing my fear of running helped me conquer my own doubts. From struggling in college PE to crossing the 5K finish line, this story is about resilience, motivation, and finding strength where you least expect it.

I hate running!

This is what I screamed at the universe after barely dragging my sorry self across the finish line for PE 101 in college. I remember the feeling vividly—like my lungs were on fire, my legs were jelly, and my eardrums felt like they might explode from the sound of my own pulse. The only thing that kept me from collapsing right there was my professor barking at me to, "keep moving!"

Fast forward almost 30 years, and guess what? I crossed the finish line of the 2024 HOKA Trilogy Run Asia!

Me. The same person who swore she'd rather swim with sharks than run a mile.

Why I Took the Leap

So, what made me lace up those sneakers and hit the pavement despite loathing it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns?

Honestly, it’s because life had me pinned. I was failing—over and over again. I needed something, anything, to pull myself out of the rut.

I needed a win. Just a flicker of success to remind myself that I still had it in me.

Truth be told, I was scared. Scared to start something new, scared to fail again, scared that maybe my best days were already behind me. I knew I had to push forward, but instead, I kept stalling.

I didn’t have some magical "Eureka!" moment. There was no divine bolt of inspiration.

Instead, I had one thought: I hate running. And right there, in the middle of my indecision, I decided that if I could conquer something I hated, I could do anything—even face my fear of failure.

I wasn’t chasing gold medals or podiums.

I was paralyzed by the fear of making yet another mistake.

So, I did what any desperate person would do—I went to Self-help University. Yup, good ol' YouTube!

I was consuming all the motivational content I could find—affirmations, morning routines, the whole shebang. I made my bed every morning like a good soldier. Set my alarm for 5 AM to "eat my frog" first thing in the day. Whispered affirmations until I was practically nauseous with self-love.

But nothing—absolutely nothing—could get me to take the leap I really needed.

Until one day, I thought, bahala na! Let’s do the thing I hate the most. Let’s run!

The Struggle and the Finish Line

I decided to start running five days a week. And I know myself: if I skipped even one run, I'd give up completely.

But all those hours of watching self-help videos finally did one thing right—they got me out the door. Even when the weather sucked. Even when I had a million excuses.

And I knew I’d quit the moment things got hard unless I had something on the line. So, I signed up for the 2024 HOKA Trilogy Run.

My kids were in shock when I told them. Let's just say, "sporty" was never my vibe. But hey, it's never too late to get in shape... or at least convince your kids that you’re not a total couch potato.

So there I was, at 3 AM, standing next to my husband at SM Seaside, getting ready to do this crazy thing. When he ran off for a last-minute bathroom break, I snapped a quick selfie at the starting line and sent it to my family. Let them be shocked, I thought. If nothing else, at least they’d have a good laugh.

The moment they called us for the 5K, my nerves were on fire. I took one step and—BAM!—I tripped right over my own feet. Yup, at the starting line. If it weren’t for my husband catching me, I would’ve face-planted right there. Smooth, right?

And let me tell you, as soon as we actually started running, all I wanted to do was quit. My brain was busy coming up with a dozen excuses to quit.

But then I thought about my family. Not that they’d judge me if I quit—they wouldn’t.

But I had promised myself I wouldn't let them down, and I was tired of letting myself down.

Even though my body was used to running 5K on a treadmill, this was my first time doing it on pavement. And wow, did I feel every single inch of it. My feet hurt, I was parched, it was hot, and everything inside me screamed to stop!

But I kept moving—one sore, stubborn step at a time. Strangers cheered, my husband cheered, and somehow, I crossed that finish line.

Did I win? Nope. Would I do it again? Uh... maybe.

But crossing that line, knowing I had conquered something that terrified me, was everything.

Why We Do Difficult Things

I know it sounds insane.

When you’re stuck, when you’re feeling low, it’s not exactly intuitive to throw yourself into something you despise.

But I needed to prove to myself that I could still take on hard things and come out stronger. I needed to stare fear straight in the face and refuse to back down.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said,

That’s what this was for me. Doing the hard stuff. Running was never about exercise. It was about resilience. It was about refusing to be afraid of myself anymore. It was about showing up—even when it was ugly. And even when I stumbled right out of the gate.

It reminded me that I’m capable of so much more than I ever imagined.

So, next time you’re staring down something that makes you want to run away (pun fully intended), remember my HOKA run. Think of that tiny voice whispering, "You got this." Take that first step, however shaky it might be. You might just surprise yourself.

And hey, maybe that 10K doesn’t look so impossible after all.

Let’s go, Momma!

P.S.

In my next blog, I’ll be dishing out all the juicy takeaways from the run—the good, the bad, and the trippy. Don’t miss it. See you there!

I craved a different kind of victory—the quiet, knowing, unshakable satisfaction that comes from doing something you swore you could never do.

It wasn’t about winning a medal—it was about winning a promise I made to myself. And that was exhilarating.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Ella is the chief hu-mom at LastMomStanding.com. Once a chronic starter, she’s now finishing what she begins and rewriting her story. When she’s not creating content, Ella is exploring new challenges, enjoying good books, or planning her next adventure. Come say hi—she’d love to connect!

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