Three’s A Crowd: Toddlers and Toilet Etiquette


I was recently asked by one of my girlfriends,

“Will I ever be able to go to the bathroom by myself again now that I have kids?”

I laughed and thought back to being pregnant with Ziva. 

The first trimester of pregnancy is rarely fun for any woman, let alone a mom of two warrior boys under the age of 4 who have a panache for not standing still longer than 10 seconds.

Per my typical early pregnancy routine, I was perched over the trashcan in prime position to regurgitate my lunch. But today was special. I also had the “runs”… ah, what’s a mom to do…

So I am in the bathroom, trying to puke my guts out and I have a pouty 4 year old who is unsatisfied with the lunch menu. “You know I hate Mac n’ cheese! Why did you make it?! I won’t eat THAT. Its GROSS!“

As Luke is lamenting over the sub-par lunch menu, my clingy 2 year old is trying to attach himself to my leg. Remember, I am sitting on the porcelain throne as all this is going down.

In a sudden surge of authority, Jax decides he wants to help out. “Bend over mommy! Wipe now!”  His tiny fist was full of enough toilet paper it could have been used to gag a Giraffe.     “I wipe you! Mommy move! I wipe you now!” I attempted to swat him off me as my Gene Burns incarnate continued to verbally assault Restaurant Mom with poor reviews.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!

I just looked at my friend, smiled and said, “Nope.”

Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.

Xoxo- Kim Crawford

 

 

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