Mind Bombs and Car Rides


This morning was a rare treat. I have this cousin that I can geek out with in regards to Spirituality. He is one of those special souls that is a true guide and seems to speak Truth when you need to hear it the most. (xoxo MJD)
We had a rare, quiet, moment and swapped funny stories about our lives over the phone. I was excited to share the mind bomb that Luke dropped on us 2 weeks ago. I hope you enjoy the story as much as  he did.
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On the way to school, Luke asked me, “Why do you think we are alive on Earth? What is our Purpose?”
Before I could answer, he blurted out, “Wait- Let me guess… we’re on Earth to learn by making the best choices…” [Insert Eye rolling here]
So – I asked why HE thought we were here…
He said, “Well, I think God has a God… And God is taking a test to show that he/she knows everything. We are the avatars… we’re in a video game – and are the avatars just thinking that we are making our own choices, but we aren’t! We are living out the many possibilities God has to prove he/she knows about to her God.” Luke was beaming at this point. As I am very rarely speechless. I was gobsmacked.
“Does our God’s God have a God?” I asked, still stupefied.
He was silent for a tick- “I assume so, yes.” Luke said as he looked out the passenger window.
“If we are God’s avatars, we are still God.” I stated as a question.
“Yes.” he replied.
“…Ok. Then why wouldn’t God build the game so we could never be aware of this?”
“That would take out more possibilities. Avatar awareness is like being on a higher level in the video game.”
My mind felt like crunchy grains of sand were careless dumped all over my not so tranquil grey matter. “But if WE are GOD, then we are God’s God too?” I asked. As I worked it out in my gritty brain, Luke smiled again, “…Fun, huh?”
With that, he and Jax, jumped out of the car and raced toward school. We flung kisses and professed our love for each other until we left each other’s line of sight.
Before I pulled out into traffic, I turned to Ziva, “Mind Blown. What about you?”
She just shrugged as if to say, “Eh, I’ve always known that stuff. How come you’ve forgotten?”
…. how, indeed.IMG_2618
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I can only imagine some of the fantastic conversations happening in your cars on the way to school or on a road trip. Would love to hear some! What are some eye opening revelations you have experienced lately?
Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.
Best!
Kimberly Crawford
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My “monkey mind” gets a beat down… and other self discoveries.


“Go out and TRY, you never know who you may inspire along the way.” – Nick Vujicic

IMG_1667Since yesterday, I have been pacing, a tiger trapped in a self-imposed cage… I see the mental doorway of where I am to go next and have been lingering back. Letting my “monkey mind” get the best of me, filling my daring brain with mindless chatter based on fear and failure. This is what can happen when I spend too much time on my computer trying to do too many things at once.

Maybe it’s reflecting on the lost of Prince; another musical Messiah, like Bowie, that makes me more aware that my life is shifting. Am I celebrating my time on Earth like they encouraged and demanded? …Kids are getting older, years wisp by in fractions of a second. The house is physically changing and the breaking of its bones send invisible shrapnel whizzing through the air.

I have fought for this shift. The home remodel, working from home to be present for the kids and my husband. Now, as these endeavors evolve, I am ready to un-peel another layer, to discover what new weirdness lay waiting to be unearthed within.

How do I define myself? Mother. Wife. Friend. Mentor. Philanthropist. Marketer, Communicator. Innovator. Messenger. Micro-disrupter. Harmonizer. Healer. Dreamer. Procrastinator. Not-the-best-housekeeper. ….I have erased the word, Writer, at least l0 times from this list. Why?

It isn’t as if I am at a loss of things to say. Is it because I fear that what I have to write isn’t interesting  enough for you? Or is it by sharing this moment you would see me a weaker, weirder version, than I have shown you before?

As I awoke today, set my intentions of how I plan to show up for the world and serve, I still felt a bit fake. Instead of jumping “all in” and putting my spirit behind my words, I mentally kept one toe out of the water, going through the motions instead of fully surrendering.

So, the angst continued to plague me. It was relentless. Self doubt grew inside like a balloon. Instead of continuing to run, from whatever nonsense was building up inside me, I decided to turn around and embrace it. Part of me thought I was literally going to explode, leaving tattered remnants of myself all over the kitchen floor.

I crept into the office, sat in front of the computer and thought, “just write.” Get whatever is festering OUT.

Write about ANYTHING. Write about the tools you have discovered that help you show up as a better human being in this world (…Yeah, those same tools that you are not using right now, which is why you feel so disconnected).

Write about how you have been changing inside because you have been trusting yourself more and so desperately want others to discover how empowering that is. Write about how you want to help everyone but sometimes loose perspective and get overwhelmed with the HOW.

Staring at a blank screen, I decided to do some research, ie. stall. Bam! I stumble upon this video of Nick Vujicic; A man who encourages each of us to get out of our heads and live. To try. To fail… I know all of this. I spend my time teaching this.

Today, I needed to hear it again. I needed to hear it in his words; through his story. Nick was born without arms and legs. He struck me as encouraging and compassionate. He reminded me of where I needed to be. Present. Here in the now.

So, I write. With each word, I attempt open the door of possibilities. I allow the world to see me, in this moment. Open and exposed; willing to show each of you my vulnerability. Unsure but trusting myself to make the right choices when they present themselves.

I chose not to file this journal entry away, but to share it with you. Because, maybe today, you need to hear that you are BEAUTIFUL.  You need to know that your self doubt doesn’t define you IF you don’t let it stop you from doing whatever it is you are meant to do. That I will love you through your weak moments and weirdness- even if you don’t love or understand mine. That the LEARNING is in the frustration and failure. Feeling humble. Feeling human. Acknowledging that self-doubt lives within us all and what sets us apart is what we do next.

May you go out into the world and try something new today.

Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.

Best!

Kimberly Crawford

http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20150318-leading-without-limbs?ocid=ww.social.link.email