When your 9 year old calls B.S. on you, challenging your Spiritual beliefs.


 

 

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As we sat around the table, eating dinner last night Jax asked me, ” What’s the deal with all this GOD STUFF?! Your, like SUPER religious now!”His smooth, soft, pre-man hands hovered over his head as he spoke. They drew the shape of a half dome in the air around us. Like the image of Jesus you see on all the traditional Hallmark Christmas cards.
Stunned into silence, I poured my attention all over him. Exploring his face, the little mouth that declared I am now “religious.” Why did hearing him say that bother me?
 “I haven’t dragged you to church or sat you down to read the Bible or anything! Do you mean Spiritual? I have always been this way…Spiritual, I mean.”
My words fell into the veggie lasagna, short of making it into his ears and into his heart. They bounced off the force-shield he had around him. Jax had anticipated my explanation taking its usual esoteric turn about humanity. About the Rising consciousness bursting forth, and our place in it. How we must do more than embrace the Rising, but push it forward as well.

“You ALWAYS talk about God blessings, Grace, and practicing Gratitude. None of that helps. None of that matters in making my life better.” Jax, age 9

“You ALWAYS talk about God blessings, Grace, and practicing Gratitude. None of that helps. None of that matters in making my life better.” Jax’s eyebrow raised, declaring authority over the matter at hand.
“The goal isn’t to take time out to pray. It is to BE in a constant state of prayer; To BE…connected to God-source. Always.” My words felt void of power, fluttering around the table like petals of a dying flower.
“That is IMPOSSIBLE when God never shows up to help me.” Jax replied as if it were the end of the conversation.
Mike dropped his head and became over interested in the green beans on his dinner plate. “Here it comes…” said the thought bubble over his head. Luke, Ziva and I looked at each other, wide-eyed. It was as if a founding member of your club cast his members jacket at your feet. WTF?! My mind was humming- teachable moment- teachable moment. How can I get him to remember another time when he didn’t feel like this?! What should I say or do next?? I had nothing! I went to a place of bruised ego. Defeated, I told him I could leave him out of our discussions about God, the Universe and our choices made within it. I would be mindful not to include him in our spiritual rituals. No more Morning Intention God Blessings. I could even leave him out of the 3 G’s before bed (Gratitude, Evening God Blessings and Goodnight protection prayer).
….not my best moment in reflecting compassion, whoops.

“What if God has been with you the whole time? Helping you live a better life? …Because She is always there, you don’t know what it is like to be without her.”

Luke broke the silence and asked Jax, “What if God has been with you the whole time? Helping you live a better life? …Because She is always there, you don’t know what it is like to be without her. Maybe, you should practice NOT connecting with God for a week and see what happens. Maybe, you life will get SUPER Crappy!” He revealed with the excitement of a Mad Scientist.
Whoa. They do listen. They do remember. They know how to find their own way. My lesson, Again: Lips together. It is not about me and having all the answers. Sometimes, it’s about leaning back and not leaning in so hard.
I have been “doubling down” since January. Fulfilling this need to Push out and not letting the tide Pull me back in. All ocean waves must leave the land and return to the sea. I am remembering too.
My friend and Acutonics teacher says, “Life is a Dance!” Sometimes that Dance takes you to a place of forgeting …and rediscovering ourselves in a whole new way.
May you open your heart and hear the music. Release your toes so they may tap to the beat of the Universe that always has your back. Even if you have decided that you’ve been doing this entire journey alone. Maybe you will find your own Luke, to remind you that those are not your foot prints. That you have been carried the whole time.
Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.
Best!
Kimberly
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Our Bedtime Protection Prayer


Wildly vivid imaginations are the creative powerhouses that feed our souls. Our imaginations show us what is possible. What we can manifest if we dedicate our thoughts to something. From the vantage-point of a 9 year old, it can also keep you up at night with the chaotic possibilities…. like being POSITIVE that Stranger Things is not a Netflix original, but a real life documentary.

As soon as Luke could speak, he would share that he “saw things at night.” So we created this ritual prayer. Rituals are the purposeful practice of our inner magic. My kidlings are learning to harness theirs. When we recited the words, we would draw big circles around us with our arms, building a bubble of protection or a sleeping cocoon. Nothing but Love and Light could enter inside.

Listen to Jax read it to you here

Bedtime Protection Prayer

Love and Light within me

Love and Light around me

Love and Light inside me

Love and Light surround me.

May all God’s Love watch over me

and protect me as I sleep.

May my Guardian Angels and family and friends in Heaven,

watch over me

and protect me as I travel.

May I sleep

and grow happy, healthy and strong

and have peace of mind;

Amen.

 

It has since become a staple in our tribe. I pass it out to friends who complain of not sleeping well. Or to family members who are “too afraid of what lurks beyond the darkness.”

Soon after they claim the prayer ritual as their own, their nighttime sleep is transformed.

I printed it out so my kids are able to be independent in their practice when I am unable to tuck them into bed. They have it memorized, but it is comforting for them to hold the paper in their hands and settle into bed with it. Even after I have tucked them in, I sometimes see Jax staring at it. I wonder if he is pondering the verses… maybe just lamenting how weird his mom is… no doubt a mix of the two! 😉

Regardless, I say every night before I surrender to sleep. For me it is safety, like wrapping myself in a protective love blanket. I invite you to try it on; Tweak the verses to fit your personal magic. Build your sleep cocoon and fill it with the words of the prayer and your thoughts of gratitude.

If you try it, please share how it worked for you and what you change to make it yours. I love hearing how these tools work or don’t work. If you are looking for other tools to assist you in living a more spiritually connected and joyous life. Leave your comments below and let me know how I can help!

Laug hard. Love strong. Live to serve.

Best!

Kimberly Crawford

Download the printable PDF version:Protection prayer Protection prayer

Cuff Posing Ballers: Hayward’s Golden Oak Go-Getter’s Call on The Rock for A Donation


Help Golden Oak Montessori of Hayward Exceed our 2017 Donation Goals– Donate NOW

A few of our Go-Getters, Head of School, Gena Englefried and I channelled our best wrist muscle flexin, Ballers pose to celebrate the “hungry” in each of us… and to ask: Will fellow Hayward Alumni Dwayne Johnson Finally button that shirt-cuff and help us smash our 2017 donation goal?

Acting on a GENIUS idea by godmother Kristan Gainey-Keene, I made an 11th hour request Sunday for kids with a suit and the perfect cuff pose to join us for an impromptu photo shoot, hoping Dwayne Johnson, aka, The Rock would see our post and request.

Luke, Jax, Ziva and I were joined by their friends Kai, Georgia, Violet, Isabella and our incredible principal, Gena Engelfried. We channeled our inner Rock, bringing a strong close to the last week of our annual donation drive at Golden Oak Montessori Charter School of Hayward.  Our fantastic parents joined in the fun and flexed their photography skills as well; Thanks Melanie Salvatore August, Vera Tranlong and Jenny Brizzi!

“Whoever said getting gritty couldn’t also be a blast wasn’t trying hard enough.”

Kimberly Crawford

As a free, public charter school in the heart of the bay, we are raising funds for field trips, transportation and school improvements. Will The Rock lead us out of the jumanji jungle and help GO avoid the scorpion sting of not meeting our budget needs? We are humbly asking Mr. Johnson to donate $20k. In return, we pledge to strengthen our massive brain muscles, and continue cultivating life long learners and service-minded problem solvers. With the Board’s approval of course, we would also be excited to name an area of the school after you. It could be a wonderful reminder to the students and staff, your belief of “working hard, being authentic and …chasing your Greatness.”

Golden Oak shoots for the stars (literally 😉 and our students understand that they are developing their skills beyond Baller status. Their sights are BIG…Presidential even! Our school is an environment that values individual talents and strengths. Students are nurtured as critical thinkers, cooperative learners, and thoughtful leaders.With an incredibly diverse cultural and socio-economic school population, our students are the change makers and problem solvers of the future. By the way, this is fertile ground for Presidential campaign workers #DJPOTUS2020 😉

This school is helping students find success in education. GO provides individualized learning plans, multi-age classrooms and hands-on materials designed to stimulate academic exploration, collaboration and leadership skills.

The school is also a beautiful bridge, linking together diverse economic backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs. As a co-founder, former board member, current fundraising committee member, and parent of 3 GO-Getter’s (mine are the 3 redheads in the picture). I can attest to the greatness that fills these halls. The staff, the students, the parents; incredible, heart-bursting innovative energy is unleashed and nurtured here. Come visit. Hang out with a GO-Getter and they will blow your shirt-cuffs off!

I am so blessed to see the dream realized; I was fortunate enough to be a part of a 20 parent crew who founded Golden Oak Montessori Charter School of Hayward. It is one of the few Free Public Montessori Charter Schools in the state of California. Some said it couldn’t be done. We thought otherwise… and the school was created; serving the Hayward community that next year and has continued to do so since 2008. We have had an average 100 person waitlist soon after we opened. The school is a great representation of the HEART of Hayward. I encourage you to join Hayward’s GO-Getter’s, help us “pave the way to greatness,” and donate $20,000 to Golden Oak Montessori Charter School of Hayward today!

https://givingtools.com/goldenoakmontessori/q=Golden-Oak-Montessori-Donation-Drive.php

This photo post project was not only an exercise in faith, it was another way to show our kids to go for the big ideas and have fun in taking action; Pat the fear of failure on the head and just dive in and have a ball. Be authentic, show up and work hard. Whoever said getting gritty couldn’t also be a blast wasn’t trying hard enough.

Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.

Best!

Kimberly Crawford

 

BTW:

Two of my favorite Dwayne Johnson quotes in full below:

“I’ll never, ever be full. I’ll always be hungry. Obviously, I’m not talking about food. Growing up, I had nothing for such a long time. Someone told me a long time ago, and I’ve never forgotten it, ’Once you’ve ever been hungry, really, really hungry, then you’ll never, ever be full.’”Dwayne Johnson 

“The Road To Success and Greatness Is Always Paved With Consistent Hard Work. Outwork Your Competitors, Be Authentic And Above All Else. Chase Your Greatness”-Dwayne Johnson

#therock

#dwaynejohnson

#HBOBallers

#GoldenOakofHaywardFutureBallers

#WristMusclesMakeMillions

#PavingTheWayToGreatness

#DwayneJohnsonForPresident

#GoldenOakGo-Getters

#GoldenOakMontessoriSchoolofHayward

#HaywardOhana

#GO-GettersLoveTheRock

#SailingAwayOnSuccess

#WelcomeToTheJungle

#YourWelcome

#HaywardHeartoftheBay

#WediditforHayward’sFuture

#BeyondBallerStatus

#LaughHard.LoveStrong.LiveToServe

#lastmomstanding.com

#LMSNation

#JumanjiJumanji-ItsGotSOMETHING

 

 

Teacher Appreciation Week


Our everyday hero’s have a week of gratitude bestowed upon them once a year. Let’s make it count! This year, I am having the students fill out this simple PDF in their precious handwriting and having it bound into a book. They will present it to the teachers at the end of the week. Wanted to put this out into the world to spread the love.

If you use it, please let me know how your project turned out!

Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.

Best!

Kimberly Crawford

Option #2 My teacher is good atOption #2 My teacher is good at

Mind Bombs and Car Rides


This morning was a rare treat. I have this cousin that I can geek out with in regards to Spirituality. He is one of those special souls that is a true guide and seems to speak Truth when you need to hear it the most. (xoxo MJD)
We had a rare, quiet, moment and swapped funny stories about our lives over the phone. I was excited to share the mind bomb that Luke dropped on us 2 weeks ago. I hope you enjoy the story as much as  he did.
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On the way to school, Luke asked me, “Why do you think we are alive on Earth? What is our Purpose?”
Before I could answer, he blurted out, “Wait- Let me guess… we’re on Earth to learn by making the best choices…” [Insert Eye rolling here]
So – I asked why HE thought we were here…
He said, “Well, I think God has a God… And God is taking a test to show that he/she knows everything. We are the avatars… we’re in a video game – and are the avatars just thinking that we are making our own choices, but we aren’t! We are living out the many possibilities God has to prove he/she knows about to her God.” Luke was beaming at this point. As I am very rarely speechless. I was gobsmacked.
“Does our God’s God have a God?” I asked, still stupefied.
He was silent for a tick- “I assume so, yes.” Luke said as he looked out the passenger window.
“If we are God’s avatars, we are still God.” I stated as a question.
“Yes.” he replied.
“…Ok. Then why wouldn’t God build the game so we could never be aware of this?”
“That would take out more possibilities. Avatar awareness is like being on a higher level in the video game.”
My mind felt like crunchy grains of sand were careless dumped all over my not so tranquil grey matter. “But if WE are GOD, then we are God’s God too?” I asked. As I worked it out in my gritty brain, Luke smiled again, “…Fun, huh?”
With that, he and Jax, jumped out of the car and raced toward school. We flung kisses and professed our love for each other until we left each other’s line of sight.
Before I pulled out into traffic, I turned to Ziva, “Mind Blown. What about you?”
She just shrugged as if to say, “Eh, I’ve always known that stuff. How come you’ve forgotten?”
…. how, indeed.IMG_2618
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I can only imagine some of the fantastic conversations happening in your cars on the way to school or on a road trip. Would love to hear some! What are some eye opening revelations you have experienced lately?
Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.
Best!
Kimberly Crawford

Setting Limits & Unleashing the Warrior: The Paradox of Parenthood


Can we walk the line of unleashing our child’s inner Warrior and set limits?

I recently had a play date with a mother of two. With her newborn on her hip she recounted how different her kids were. How this new baby is rewriting the parent handbook she just finished mastering with her firstborn. Though she was in a familiar place with new challenges, I admired her for setting her life up so she could be fully present. As a young woman she has worked relentlessly to build a successful career and with the same fortitude, she is constructing a purpose filled life raising her children.

After they left, I began to reminisce. When I was a young mom, was my guidebook the same as it is now? I dove into my journal and found this post on letting our kids discover their own limits while keeping them from killing themselves. May you walk the fuzzy line that keeps your heart pounding and still keep your spirit on Earth! Enjoy 🙂

August 27,2012

Alamo CA

 

As a “High Spirited” kid, Luke is always willing to take on a battle. Today was no different, yet it was terrifyingly magical.

Luke and Jax are learning to respect animals and the sacrifice  they make by providing us food. They’re beginning to understand the cycle of life and the practice of self-reliance. Growing food in the garden, harvesting and canning fruit, learning to fish are all part of life in our family. Learning to hunt is on the horizon.

It’s as if they look out their car window, assessing their food options based on the wildlife we pass. The boys have shrieked for me to pull over when they spot a flock of wild turkeys so they can, “catch ‘em and eat ‘em for dinner.”

This particular morning was luxurious and lazy. Full of eggs, tea and toast; I saw the sun beaconing us to come out and enjoy his splendor.  I hustled the boys and Ziva outside. All 3 sporting their pajamas, perfect attire for a morning walk down Kensington Court.

The boys grabbed their scooters and blazed down the street.  My morning zen began to unravel as I attempted to call them back.  16 month old Ziva, engulfed, was lagging behind. She inspected every leaf and acorn. Investigating the world that lives within the division between tar and earth.

It’s too quiet, I thought. I could feel the hair on my neck electrify and lift off my skin. I begin my “mother-safety scan” and start to count kids. Ziva, check. Jax, check. Luke….ugh…. LUKE!

I spot him at the end of the court, laser-focused on the two young deer grazing on our neighbor’s cashmere pink hydrangeas. With the stealth of a lion, Luke lowered his scooter to the ground. Confused, I watched as he crept toward the unaware mammals.

Lost, I turned to my middle child, “What in the world is your brother up too, Jax?” My three year old, who is mentally 93, looked at me and shook his head.  Throwing his hands up in the air, he gestured, “how the heck should I know?!”

In a burst of movement, Luke exploded forward, breaking into a full frontal attack.  Sprinting toward the preoccupied deer, his hands stretched out in front, deadly weapons. His plan?  Take them down at the neck and choke them out.

Oh, did I mention he was screaming? Yeah, like an extra in Mel Gibson’s Braveheart who wanted to make every moment of his 3 seconds on film, count.

 

So here we were, Ziva straddled on my hip with a fist full of leaves and Jax holding both my hand and his scooter. Our mouths dropped to the floor as we watched our warrior, literally, running down what he expects to be tonight’s dinner.

At first I laugh and shout, “Hey buddy, deer are pretty fast runners, I don’t think you’ll catch them.” Silly mommy- what do you know about running down deer? Apparently nothing.

Ignoring my comment, Luke kept after them and ran the startled deer into a corner. Our neighbors fence blocked any chance of escape. The only way out for the two deer? Through my 6 year old son.

In his eyes,  he saw an opportunity and he was ready to take it on. With every ounce of his being, he believed he could not only take down one deer, but two at the same time. Looking into those quivering Doe eyes, I could see the animals believed it too… and they were scared silly- at this point so was I.

The color drained from my face as I yelled, “They will fight you and hurt you to get away. They will not willingly be dinner, Luke. Back Off!”

Deaf ears; he was in the “hunter’s zone,” something my husband,  hasn’t felt in a long, long time (sorry sweet-cakes;).

Luke crouched lower. His fingers splayed out, channeling his inner X-men Wolverine. The sun beat against his now perspiring brow, his lips curled back, exposing his unbrushed and fierce 6 year old teeth.

Each step was full of intention, “I am going to eat you deer,” was the menacing whisper I heard muffled in each step he took.

“LUCIUS ALEXANDER! STOP! You are trying to send their energy back to the Universe and they are going to fight back and hurt you or send YOUR energy back to the Universe! Don’t move an inch closer!”  The words flew out of my mouth and echoed off the hillside.  Yeah, that SO didn’t work.

In his mind, Luke  KNEW he could catch them.  I could see that his purpose in that moment was to take down those deer and I was internally Freaking OUT… Do I run up and try to grab him? He is 10 yards away… what about my baby girl? Do I set her down … what if the deer come this way and trample her, what if she falls off the road and into the creek? Could I trust my 3 year old to hold onto her? Seriously?! Is this really happening?!

I thought to myself, “Okay, God, a little guidance would be AWESOME right now.” Boom! Like a power surge, the words… “protocol” flashed in front of me. I had to appeal to the Vulcan logic that ran deep in my first born.

I tried again, “LUKE!” I hissed. Do you have a permit?!”  Suddenly, my deadly hunter slowed but was unwilling to break posture still crouched, menacingly in “attack” mode. Luke’s gaze still locked on his targets, he snarled back, “What?! Mom, what are you talking about? What’s a permit?”

 

In rapid fire, I explained that when Daddy goes hunting, he has to register for a permit… “It is like asking the hunting department for permission. Do you have one?”    Luke broke his focus on the petrified animals and turned to face me, dropping his tense, claw shaped hands to his sides, “One, what now?”

“Something that shows it is okay to hunt these deer. You have to have permission- a permit- or you can’t hunt these deer.” I warned. Ziva squeaked and tried to wriggle out of my too tight grip. I’d clenched her waist so tight to mine, I was hurting her and yet I couldn’t allow myself to loosen up.

“I don’t have one of those,” he sighed, “..I have a library card, does that count?”

“… No, son, it doesn’t. You can only check out books with that, not animals.”

Click. Click. Click; I could see his brain running the program…. “Daddy needs a permit to hunt, I need a permit to hunt. Got it.”

I watch the warrior in him dissolve and slip into the sunshine. Luke shrugged at the deer and backed away, allowing just enough space for them to bound off into the canyon.

I finally released my grip on Jax’s hand and Ziva’s waist, frantically rubbing my fingernail indents on Jaxie’s poor hand with my thumb.

A long, slow breath escaped from my chest as I watched my 3 children squeal and chase each other down the street, as if the moment before never happened.

I learned a lot from Luke that morning. At one point in our young lives, we all believed in ourselves.  To the core. True and complete belief in our capabilities. Hunting  deer with our bare hands, creating a  tempura painted masterpiece; as kids, we didn’t let fear or doubt anywhere near our driver’s seat.

And I also understood to use “protocol” with caution.  My kids will, eventually, believe that the limits I put upon them are real. In this instance, well used. But, I must be aware of abusing those limits in the name of gratuitous angst or personal comfort. I must guide enough to keep them from killing themselves AND let them determine their own limits. A heavy responsibility, but what an honor it has been so far.

May you remember that you are capable of most anything and use limits sparingly. Here’s to unleashing your inner warrior!

Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.

Best!

Kimberly Crawford

 

Why even my worst day is THE BEST DAY EVER!


This morning started off a bit rocky, coffee couldn’t cure it, healthy smoothie didn’t even make a dent…. PMS was in full effect. Kids be warned!

There is nothing like sneaking in a play-date with your 4 year old to obliterate the morning grumps. Check out the video; a guaranteed laugh to get you over hump day! Thanks Ziva!

Laugh hard. Love strong. Live to serve.

Best!

Kimberly CrawfordIMG_6548